So here I am kicking off my brand new Ella Fairlie blog (hello!), and launching my very first self-published novella, The Christmas Bucket List. Which is super exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

I wanted to write about WHY I decided to write and self-publish the novella. After all, there are a ton of brilliant Christmas books out there at the moment by talented, well-known writers. It’s entirely possible that the only downloads will come from me and my mum. It clearly isn’t for the money. And it isn’t because I’m hoping it’ll magically get the attention of an agent or publisher (although both would be nice). The short version is (and this is so appropriate for Christmas): it’s for the JOY.

See, not too long ago, I was a book publisher. Nothing too glamorous – mostly educational – but that didn’t stop everyone I knew (and everyone they knew) from asking me to read their secret manuscripts. Which is basically THE WORST. From the work contact who had me pass his chapter book on to our children’s department and then emailed me every few days with an updated version (so awkward), to the person who wrote a whole book about orangutans but didn’t bother too find out how to spell ‘orangutan’ (seriously!?!), to a friend’s father’s erotic novel (which thank GOD never actually made it into my inbox), I saw them all. Wherever I could, I gave helpful suggestions and encouragement (not that I got any thanks). And the one thing that I found myself saying to every one of them, and everyone at a party who ever told me they wanted to write a book when they found out what I did for a living, was that you should never go into writing because you think you’re going to make a fortune (and please don’t mention JK Rowling). Write because you love it, because it makes you happy, because you can’t NOT do it, I told them. Write for the joy.

A few years ago I decided to shake off my cynicism about editors who become writers and admit (at least to myself) that I wanted to do it too. I knew that saying you want to write and actually writing are very different things, and that it’s a craft that has to be learned (whatever your background). I also struggled to get past a single chapter because that inner editor would come out straight away and tell me how rubbish it was and what I had to change. (Um, everything.) So like most wannabe writers, I just walked around with ideas in my head and vague plans to put them down one day.

Until earlier this year, when I came across a short story competition, where the winners would be included in the upcoming Sunlounger 2 anthology (I’d loved the first). I decided that even if I couldn’t finish a novel, I could jolly well write 3,000 words and finish THAT. My sole aim was to finish, and to submit on time, and I did it. I was absolutely thrilled with myself, and I learned more about writing from actually sitting down and writing those 3,000 words and making myself press ‘send’ than I ever had before. Then I was announced a joint winner and got to be published, and that was a huge, unexpected honour and confidence boost. Most importantly, it got me writing regularly.

So there I was in the middle of July (which just happens to be South African winter), and although I have a longer WiP on the go, I needed another achievable goal. I am the HUGEST fan of Christmas, and I love reading Christmas stories. So I decided to take my own advice and write for the joy. I wrote the kind of story that I would want to read, all about a snowy London full of twinkling lights and open fires and mulled wine. The Christmas Bucket List is the result. And though I feel super shy about putting it out there (do all indie authors feel like this?), I knew if I didn’t publish it, I wouldn’t finish it. So I did.

And it really did give me so much pleasure to write it – to snuggle myself up inside a Christmassy bubble and dream of frosty nights and gingerbread houses and chestnuts roasting on an open fire (not to mention love and longing). I hope it’s good. And maybe nobody will buy it. Maybe you will. And if you do, I hope you find some of that same joy and festive spirit in reading it too.

But just in case you need more Christmassy-ness, I’ll be blogging all about the different bucket list activities in the book throughout December, so be sure to check out the Bucket List page for more!

Ella xox